Saturday

Yin Peng is sick in US, but I can do nothing to help her, I only can advise her to rest well and eat well. Hope you can overcome the cold weather.

Today, is quite a boring day. Spending my day with 1/4 of movie and 1/2 episodes of drama and of course in my company law, because I do not wish the same thing recurring in my favorite subject, I think is consider as favorite subject la, because the subject demands attention and this keeps to keep pace with what's lecturer teaching compare to other subjects.

Mistakes make a lesson, and I am agree with this statement somehow, because I always make silly mistakes during mid term, and maybe this contributes to my not so good grade in final if I wanna compare to secondary school time. I admit I am not used with failure, I am very used with emphasize good grades, as this instilled in my life since I started my school life.

I myself is a big circle that make my boundary of life so small and limited, that I will strangled sometimes.

And I did not take any action to explore it, to a bit larger.For no reason and maybe just reluctant to do so.

More willing to scrap here, rather than doing something more useful and meaningful.

Perhaps the most effective way is to evaluate everyday's performance by asking what I have learn today.

persistent is not my dictionary, however.

Insane and craziness

This is the 1st time I feel I am very very guo fen.

HAHAHA~

How insane am I, I dunno. But I maybe is enjoying it.

I enjoy the feeling, do I? the feeling of you can't get me.

I am crazy, yeah, don't deny it.

I will get the pay one day, I think.

Ah peng, take care of yourself la!

Movie day

Today went for 2 movies. This is the second time I watch movies consequently. The first time is during the outing with choir, after madasgacar, we watched mama mia.This time, we watched PCK 1st, only followed by Grown Ups. I think I no need to discuss PCK at here, because my main highlight is Grown Ups.

Sincerely, I think Grown Ups is just like our Ice Kacang Puppy Love which presented in a more humor way.

We have to play our life just as the game, the only championship game for the couch, until the buzzer sound.

This is the tagline for the movie I get from other website:

Back Then They Were Too Young To Know Better. Now They Have No Excuse.

Some guys need a little extra time to mature.

This movie makes me realize that having some friends growing up with us is an amazing things, especially when we get older, we recall all those sweet, bitter, sour memories together.

The value of friendship that brings in the trust and faith in everyone.

We might in different track of life, but one thing will never change, when we get back together

And we will feel like twenty years ago is just like yesterday.

you again

Actually what I wanna say is is I accompany you not you accompany me

When I say there are nothing between us, I know it's hurt

I know it's my intention to say so, purposely and mean.

I don't know why we are still continue on, without a firm direction, without the commitment from my side.

I feel hatred when talk to you, and it's just like what salty said,

sometimes I like you but sometimes I hate you. For an unknown reason that me myself also do not realise.

I am keeping myself cruel, mean and selfish.

And you are keeping yourself injured and not knowing what am I feel now.

I am irresponsible for my life, my love so shall I give up?

Shall I letting the goodness to the others who might (must be) more appreciate you than me?

This is again the issue, an issue that never ends like the issue of reliability and relevance of financial statement and accountancy.

冷眼

冷眼看世界，那么这世界还有多少可以观赏

冷眼看人生，那么人生还有多少岁月可以挥霍

冷眼看爱情，那么你还有多少精力耐性可以耗掉

冷眼看自己，那么我还有多少次机会可以重来？还是等着重生

Goodbye, dear Lee Yin Peng

Goodbye

The way to get out from Paranoia is to be here.

To be here, to be right now, and to be away from the past or future.

The possibilities of being retrenched make everyone in state of uneasy. The atmosphere is tension and unease. At last, the main characters are saved from the first batch of retrenchment. But they are sad and get paranoia. The male characters force them to play baseball. Yang is forced to hit the ball produced from the ball machine. And she did it, she manage to catch the ball, which twisted the tension and sad atmosphere to happy and excited. Maybe you cannot understand what I am trying to convey here, because if I am you, I won’t too. Just to share with you the way to pull yourself out from Paranoia, is appreciate and LIVE the moment for NOW.

My sister is about to leave, going to United State. We went shopping to buy all the stuff she needed to bring to the university. Spent 700 in one day, breaks our shopping record. Manage to buy the luggage, with seventy percent discount, and is RED!!! I have to say shops during mega sales and promotions period is awesome! We ended our day with dinner at Coliseum, Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman with YC. We can see from the physical of the restaurant that it’s been established long time ago, which is 1921, if I not mistaken. The settings, the furniture, the apparatus as well as the staff there reflect the age of the restaurant. There’s a cinema with the same name which always being visited by my mum and my dad during their time. The waiter there is an old man who has difficulty to listen well. My advice is better don’t order ice-cream there because it’s very ordinary and just not worthy to try it. Do you heard of Irish coffee? Does this remind you about the book written by the Taiwan author, Cai Zhi Heng? We manage to taste it at there, which cost RM15.90 for a small glass. It’s unique because it does contain of alcohol as well. So when we taste the Irish coffee, we will first get the coffee taste before the alcohol. It’s quite nice for me but not for my sister as she gets red after the drink. Just want to takes this opportunity to thank you YC for treating us such a nice meal. My Friday ends!!!

Saturday. Always feel sleepy at home and do nothing. What I’ve done today is played badminton with my sister for one hour. But I was so easy to get tired, so we have to pause our game several times. 4 more days before my sis departs. 2 more days for us to spent time together and before we are apart, with 12 hours gap.

Sunday- I do not do a single thing. Watching my sister to pack up her luggage and we have our photo and video session. Today is the last night I with her, sitting at the same home, same area and same time. Last day from 3 years counting from 25^th August 2010. We never being apart for so long. And I think if I follow her to the airport, I can’t control my tears as well. I know you are leaving for your future, and you will come back to us. Just reluctant and feel sad because cannot see you for two to three years. Anyway, all the best to you.

Again, can't control my tears.

给你 不用怀疑

我假装不知道

假装一切跟从前一样

假装我们从来没有距离

假装你还会在这里

假装你过得很好

可是我无法假装 当你要离开的心情

一路顺风

My thoughts- Silly thoughts

I know I am the one who make things complicated.

I know I am not supposed to behave so.

I know I am not supposed to convey such feelings, such unimportant and rubbish of the feelings.

But I will feel bad if I did not spur everything out from the bottom of my heart.

I do know what I want. I know what I want sometimes, but I do not what I want from him, from me and from everything.

I have no capability to think, to weigh all those options, choices.

Everyone is against me. Or perhaps what I done is wrong enough to judge that I am wrong.

I am such an idiot that do not know how to survive and live in this world.

The world that suppose to be so beautiful as long as I know how to appreciate the beauty of love.

Ironically, I do not know. And I am suffering because of my dilemma in love. I know I am not suppose to own all these things when I am so ignorant of it. I am so ignorant of all these stuff that make me jam internally.

I wish someone could tell me what I should do. As always, I could not take their advice for thousand of reasons, for thousand of thoughts, for thousand of coward, for thousand of ..

Perhaps, I do not know what I know and what I want.

I love you, is me. I love me myself rather than anyone.

I love my family, rather than you.

I love my family that sometimes I will get suspicious of.

What consist of LIFE? Life consist of what? IF you can persuade me internally, then I am yours.

Go get a life, but I can’t. Because, that’s my life.