My thoughts- Silly thoughts

I know I am the one who make things complicated.

I know I am not supposed to behave so.

I know I am not supposed to convey such feelings, such unimportant and rubbish of the feelings.

But I will feel bad if I did not spur everything out from the bottom of my heart.

I do know what I want. I know what I want sometimes, but I do not what I want from him, from me and from everything.

I have no capability to think, to weigh all those options, choices.

Everyone is against me. Or perhaps what I done is wrong enough to judge that I am wrong.

I am such an idiot that do not know how to survive and live in this world.

The world that suppose to be so beautiful as long as I know how to appreciate the beauty of love.

Ironically, I do not know. And I am suffering because of my dilemma in love. I know I am not suppose to own all these things when I am so ignorant of it. I am so ignorant of all these stuff that make me jam internally.

I wish someone could tell me what I should do. As always, I could not take their advice for thousand of reasons, for thousand of thoughts, for thousand of coward, for thousand of ..

Perhaps, I do not know what I know and what I want.

I love you, is me. I love me myself rather than anyone.

I love my family, rather than you.

I love my family that sometimes I will get suspicious of.

What consist of LIFE? Life consist of what? IF you can persuade me internally, then I am yours.

Go get a life, but I can’t. Because, that’s my life.