Unknown

Today met Imran again. Accidentally.
As we have common friends, so we have lunch together.
I knew him during the 2nd day of my intern, and we have been working in the same office for 2 days.
He's funny.
And most of the time, I don't really understand what he said. Not good in English.
I knew him, know he is someone who always wanna makes jokes on people although he looks serious.
"Do you have boyfriend?"
Today he asked me the same question again.

Then I said YES and NO. But he just heard NO.
"Do you wanna become my girlfriend?''
Again, I know it's a joke that he will say sorry if I treat it as serious words.

Maybe I am not used with this kind of "words", so I felt weird and feeling much more better now.

He always says my spec looks funny, I look funny and I do not look like a 23 years old girl.
Just teasing around.
Is fun.
Better than now.

Intern Diary 1

2nd week
I was assigned to Company H. My senior taught me on casting and cross referencing. Besides that, he also taught me some useful shortcut keys for Microsoft Excel. On the second day, I assist on auditing in human resource department- payroll section. I was tasked to agree the date of offer letter, name and designation, name of authorized personnel and the date of joining or last working date with the information provided by the human resource department. The purpose is to ensure the existence of new joiners and the accuracy of the data input in the system by payroll department. On the third day and forth day, I was assigned to select samples for journal voucher and payment voucher. The size of sample depends on the PwC Audit Guide. Due to the frequency of the transactions, 45 samples have been selected for both vouchers. For journal voucher, accept-reject testing is also done to validate the completeness of the voucher. After selecting the samples, I was assigned to vouch and trace back to the documents provided by client.

My seniors, Sally, Andrew, Syarif and Kok Kean Teong. Kok is my UM senior. The most funny thing that I can recall is "mosquito in Klang", haha.


3rd week
On the third day, I have lunch with shook han and shee yan. Shee yan shared with us about the job and the professional exam. If I were going to do audit, then I think I will take ACCA paper. Graduate from university still isnt enough as I still have no qualification required.

Today is the fourth day, but still I have nothing to do, nth to do, and nothing to do. Almost every day listening to her job description, but still I have nothing to do, Initially, I still can bear the bore, but this is already the fourth day and I started to feel that I am as no value. My presence in the company does not add value, and therefore nothing I can contribute to the company. I experienced “culture shock” as most of my colleagues are English educated and I can’t even speak fluent English. There is gap between me and I, and between company and I. Perhaps small company is suitable for me. I should go back to small firm instead of big firm? Is still early to make judgment as this is just the third week I being here. Sometimes, I feel that someone did not put himself in others’ shoes, as when the words are pouring out, I am also those who are not giving any job, or giving some simple job. I know I am just envy, or more frankly speaking I am just jealous. If there is still nothing for me, I would like to declare that today is my emo day.

感觉来的时候

所有丑陋的

肮脏的

都会一起到来

所以我不能也无法让这些心情的污水公开

因为穿着黄色袜子

而有的不公平

而有的不平衡

看开就好

I think I am gonna be crazy.

I wont deny that I am jealous or having some harsh feeling that make me... suffer mentally.

Hope I can really reach the below level

Everything, every single feeling will end one day.

錢多錢少，夠吃就好。人 醜人美，順眼就好。 人老人 少，健康就好。家窮家富，和氣就好。 老公晚 歸，有回就好。老婆嘮叨，顧家就好。 孩子從 小，就要教好。博士也好，賣菜也好， 長大以後，乖 乖就好。房屋大小，能住就好。 名不名牌，能 穿就好。兩輪四輪，能駕就好。 老闆不好，要忍就好。一切煩惱，能解就好。 堅持執著，放 下最好。人的一生，平安就好。 不是有錢，一 定會好。心好行好，命能改好。 誰是誰非，天 知就好。修福修慧，來世更好。 天地萬物，隨 緣就好。很多事情，看開就好

holiday blog

其实现在我觉得很对不起，很惭愧

每次跟妈咪说话语气都不好，而且用词都很强烈

每次这样的时候，都会想起依凭。她也是很讨厌我这样的态度还有自以为是的语气

我何尝不是呢？只是总是沉不住气

刚才看着窗的倒影的那个我。有一点觉得自己怎么还是老样子。

成长成熟完全没有痕迹，在我身上。

思眉都比我成熟了许多。

比起那个时候很爱哭的她。

就像家好月圆阿卡说的，我们姐妹不会永远像小孩时整天粘在一起了

最多只是在佳节的时候聚一聚，然后又继续在不同的角落过着各自的生活

以前我们总是在一起，就算吵架，就算欺负，都是在一起

现在一个在西方，三个在东方。连时间都不一样了

其实也没有什么。只是总是会情不自禁地想念。

那个时候的我们

然后就会忍不住遗憾惭愧我常常这样的不孝没礼貌

妈咪，对不起。我不知道几时才有勇气说出口。

我希望我们这一家永远都是完整的快乐的健康的安全的。

九月十四日 1.18am 你的下午 只有珍惜生命珍惜我所爱的才会领悟到生命的真谛

假期过完了，可是该做的还没做完。总是在最后才后悔自己做得不够。总是最后才发现自己做得太少了，也总是到了最后才想要补救因而得熬夜

足不出户。足以形容我的假期

各位，开学忧郁

a beginning blue is just prepared to show up

I am not wishing everyone to have a blue beginning, but just indicating that my blue beginning is just going to start. Hehe

The major weakness is being too confident of me sometimes, although it just occurring sometimes, but it can kill.

My another site

http://yinling1111.wordpress.com/

Kindly view this site because I will use it quite often.

There is a place for sharing.

Sharing is caring, quoted from my coursemate.

看不到的天空 很空 很空 快被掏空

你终于说你的耐心被磨光了

同一天，我孤立了所有人

我的妈妈 还有你

我仅有的 我都不知道还有些什么了

鱼说我的缺点总是在跟其他人的爱情比较

如果有落差 我就会怀疑 然后我就会想说其实我是不是应该离开

然后就这样 我们一而再地被伤害

我原本是有心想去解决的，可是时间久了 我就越龟缩了

我逃得远远的 远远 远远

鱼说 因为我们的基础不稳 再加上分隔两地 所以 很多问题产生

为什么 就不能敞开心怀 我不懂

真的不懂吗

我以为他会等我 很久很久 可是我忘记了 他也是个凡人

我不能忘记的 你走吧

是不是因为最近身边的朋友都变了na。

什么事情都做不好

Maybe I am annoying sometimes

But I am just wanna know have you settle down all your things

After that, I wont keep bothering you when you online.

We are your family, I know maybe we cant help you do anything when you have trouble

But we just wanna know how's your condition.

That's all i wanna say to you.

Take care.

I will be away for 2 weeks, guess this will make you feel happier.

WHen your atm card reach, and still not enough money to spent, let us know. I will ask mum to TT you some money.

Hope you can overcome those hurdles and enjoy your life.

Take k

Saturday

Yin Peng is sick in US, but I can do nothing to help her, I only can advise her to rest well and eat well. Hope you can overcome the cold weather.

Today, is quite a boring day. Spending my day with 1/4 of movie and 1/2 episodes of drama and of course in my company law, because I do not wish the same thing recurring in my favorite subject, I think is consider as favorite subject la, because the subject demands attention and this keeps to keep pace with what's lecturer teaching compare to other subjects.

Mistakes make a lesson, and I am agree with this statement somehow, because I always make silly mistakes during mid term, and maybe this contributes to my not so good grade in final if I wanna compare to secondary school time. I admit I am not used with failure, I am very used with emphasize good grades, as this instilled in my life since I started my school life.

I myself is a big circle that make my boundary of life so small and limited, that I will strangled sometimes.

And I did not take any action to explore it, to a bit larger.For no reason and maybe just reluctant to do so.

More willing to scrap here, rather than doing something more useful and meaningful.

Perhaps the most effective way is to evaluate everyday's performance by asking what I have learn today.

persistent is not my dictionary, however.

Insane and craziness

This is the 1st time I feel I am very very guo fen.

HAHAHA~

How insane am I, I dunno. But I maybe is enjoying it.

I enjoy the feeling, do I? the feeling of you can't get me.

I am crazy, yeah, don't deny it.

I will get the pay one day, I think.

Ah peng, take care of yourself la!

Movie day

Today went for 2 movies. This is the second time I watch movies consequently. The first time is during the outing with choir, after madasgacar, we watched mama mia.This time, we watched PCK 1st, only followed by Grown Ups. I think I no need to discuss PCK at here, because my main highlight is Grown Ups.

Sincerely, I think Grown Ups is just like our Ice Kacang Puppy Love which presented in a more humor way.

We have to play our life just as the game, the only championship game for the couch, until the buzzer sound.

This is the tagline for the movie I get from other website:

Back Then They Were Too Young To Know Better. Now They Have No Excuse.

Some guys need a little extra time to mature.

This movie makes me realize that having some friends growing up with us is an amazing things, especially when we get older, we recall all those sweet, bitter, sour memories together.

The value of friendship that brings in the trust and faith in everyone.

We might in different track of life, but one thing will never change, when we get back together

And we will feel like twenty years ago is just like yesterday.

you again

Actually what I wanna say is is I accompany you not you accompany me

When I say there are nothing between us, I know it's hurt

I know it's my intention to say so, purposely and mean.

I don't know why we are still continue on, without a firm direction, without the commitment from my side.

I feel hatred when talk to you, and it's just like what salty said,

sometimes I like you but sometimes I hate you. For an unknown reason that me myself also do not realise.

I am keeping myself cruel, mean and selfish.

And you are keeping yourself injured and not knowing what am I feel now.

I am irresponsible for my life, my love so shall I give up?

Shall I letting the goodness to the others who might (must be) more appreciate you than me?

This is again the issue, an issue that never ends like the issue of reliability and relevance of financial statement and accountancy.

冷眼

冷眼看世界，那么这世界还有多少可以观赏

冷眼看人生，那么人生还有多少岁月可以挥霍

冷眼看爱情，那么你还有多少精力耐性可以耗掉

冷眼看自己，那么我还有多少次机会可以重来？还是等着重生

Goodbye, dear Lee Yin Peng

Goodbye

The way to get out from Paranoia is to be here.

To be here, to be right now, and to be away from the past or future.

The possibilities of being retrenched make everyone in state of uneasy. The atmosphere is tension and unease. At last, the main characters are saved from the first batch of retrenchment. But they are sad and get paranoia. The male characters force them to play baseball. Yang is forced to hit the ball produced from the ball machine. And she did it, she manage to catch the ball, which twisted the tension and sad atmosphere to happy and excited. Maybe you cannot understand what I am trying to convey here, because if I am you, I won’t too. Just to share with you the way to pull yourself out from Paranoia, is appreciate and LIVE the moment for NOW.

My sister is about to leave, going to United State. We went shopping to buy all the stuff she needed to bring to the university. Spent 700 in one day, breaks our shopping record. Manage to buy the luggage, with seventy percent discount, and is RED!!! I have to say shops during mega sales and promotions period is awesome! We ended our day with dinner at Coliseum, Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman with YC. We can see from the physical of the restaurant that it’s been established long time ago, which is 1921, if I not mistaken. The settings, the furniture, the apparatus as well as the staff there reflect the age of the restaurant. There’s a cinema with the same name which always being visited by my mum and my dad during their time. The waiter there is an old man who has difficulty to listen well. My advice is better don’t order ice-cream there because it’s very ordinary and just not worthy to try it. Do you heard of Irish coffee? Does this remind you about the book written by the Taiwan author, Cai Zhi Heng? We manage to taste it at there, which cost RM15.90 for a small glass. It’s unique because it does contain of alcohol as well. So when we taste the Irish coffee, we will first get the coffee taste before the alcohol. It’s quite nice for me but not for my sister as she gets red after the drink. Just want to takes this opportunity to thank you YC for treating us such a nice meal. My Friday ends!!!

Saturday. Always feel sleepy at home and do nothing. What I’ve done today is played badminton with my sister for one hour. But I was so easy to get tired, so we have to pause our game several times. 4 more days before my sis departs. 2 more days for us to spent time together and before we are apart, with 12 hours gap.

Sunday- I do not do a single thing. Watching my sister to pack up her luggage and we have our photo and video session. Today is the last night I with her, sitting at the same home, same area and same time. Last day from 3 years counting from 25^th August 2010. We never being apart for so long. And I think if I follow her to the airport, I can’t control my tears as well. I know you are leaving for your future, and you will come back to us. Just reluctant and feel sad because cannot see you for two to three years. Anyway, all the best to you.

Again, can't control my tears.

给你 不用怀疑

我假装不知道

假装一切跟从前一样

假装我们从来没有距离

假装你还会在这里

假装你过得很好

可是我无法假装 当你要离开的心情

一路顺风

My thoughts- Silly thoughts

I know I am the one who make things complicated.

I know I am not supposed to behave so.

I know I am not supposed to convey such feelings, such unimportant and rubbish of the feelings.

But I will feel bad if I did not spur everything out from the bottom of my heart.

I do know what I want. I know what I want sometimes, but I do not what I want from him, from me and from everything.

I have no capability to think, to weigh all those options, choices.

Everyone is against me. Or perhaps what I done is wrong enough to judge that I am wrong.

I am such an idiot that do not know how to survive and live in this world.

The world that suppose to be so beautiful as long as I know how to appreciate the beauty of love.

Ironically, I do not know. And I am suffering because of my dilemma in love. I know I am not suppose to own all these things when I am so ignorant of it. I am so ignorant of all these stuff that make me jam internally.

I wish someone could tell me what I should do. As always, I could not take their advice for thousand of reasons, for thousand of thoughts, for thousand of coward, for thousand of ..

Perhaps, I do not know what I know and what I want.

I love you, is me. I love me myself rather than anyone.

I love my family, rather than you.

I love my family that sometimes I will get suspicious of.

What consist of LIFE? Life consist of what? IF you can persuade me internally, then I am yours.

Go get a life, but I can’t. Because, that’s my life.

Miss Home

I miss my family badly.

How bad is it.

Bad till tears scroll down my face.

I don't know whether being alone in room contributes to this or not.

But I ve to admit this is the second time this week.

That I can't control my tears.

Can't control my emotion.

I promise I will make use of the time not spending with you all, wisely and carefully.

Take care, mummy, ah peng and ah mei.

Lost

I think I has lost my memory stick.

Suddenly, my handphone got something wrong with it.

我落泪 情绪零碎

开关　坏了　再也无法开动我的青春该有的引擎
总是收起不一样的情绪
大概是一种负担
衰老了　衰退了　不是我理想中的状态
可是我　真的　无法　
像你们那样　
仿佛有什么把我锁得很静
应该就是心里的自己吧

绝对是

I am much more to myself, and I won't deny it.
Because this is a truth for me, and for others.

。。。

白天不懂夜的黑
所以沉默 无言

甚至想

逃离

这样的 一个人 的感觉
日益 盛满
只有假装 一点都不在乎
假装很开心
假装什么事也没有

哭久了也会累 只是别人的以为